in need of a savior

Unless you understand the depravity that is in humankind, in each human soul including your own, you will never understand your need for a savior.

It's easy to look at those who don't follow Jesus and apply that judgment onto them, or even to the "not-so-great Christians" that I see in the world. But so often I need to pray that God opens my eyes to see my own sins, to show me that I am also in that category of humankind instead of placing myself at a station above them.

Because when I am desensitized to my own brokenness and the fact that no matter what I do, I always fall short, I feel like I don't need God. Or I tell myself that I do, but I don't really understand what that means.

But when I am broken before the Lord and I'm aware of the ugliness that's in my soul, I can't help but be amazed and grateful for what He did: that He came and saved us while we were still sinners.

Someone might be willing to die for a good man. But no one wants to die for a wicked man. Crazy thing is, that's exactly what Christ did. [Romans 5:6-8] Unless I can see that I deserve hell just as much as that person who murders, steals, and destroys, I'll never begin to grasp how incredible and unbelievable it was that a Holy and Perfect God would die for someone so unworthy like me.

Lord, I'm praying that you help me to see who I am compared to you: "that [I am] more wicked than [I] ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than [I] ever dared hope." [Timothy Keller]

On a last note: If I can see that I am no better than anyone around me (because in the light of God's Holiness, we are all hopeless and stained by sin), my attitude toward all people will change. I am no better than anyone, only more aware (God's doing, not my own) of the grace that is poured out on us.

Here's my favorite song; it often reminds me of the truth:

Been lost, and now I am found.

It's been so wonderful how much God has been speaking to me the past few weeks. I didn't let a lot of people know, but I struggled really hard the last couple months I was in Kentucky.

Scratch that, I didn't even struggle. I simply gave up.

And I couldn't see how to come back to knowing and loving Jesus. And a very large part of me didn't even want to.

But thank the Lord that He never gives up on me. Took a couple weeks of reflection, sitting in the presence of God and His Word, and resting in the presence of people who love Jesus, to remind me of what I had been missing out on.

Been reminded of so many things, been challenged in so many ways. Most of all, I've realized that my walk with Christ has been sitting on Sunday School knowledge and youth group emotional comfort.

So Lord, I'm praying that day by day you continue to reveal Yourself to me that I may know You and fall in love with You more. Not simply through YouTube videos and well-written articles from other people found online, but through Your Word that reveals Your heart.

And to all my brothers and sisters in Christ on Facebook: Thank you so much for all that you post. You may not realize it, but through Facebook sometimes, I see that the church of Christ extends much farther than I realize. Those articles, YouTube videos, blog posts, and especially the Word of the Lord that you guys share have been feeding my soul on a regular basis.